A Shelter in the Storm
July 29th is a day our family will never forget. It was a day that took us by surprise, the day we found out our pregnancy was in trouble and our son would be born in the next 24 hours. I was only 27 weeks pregnant and Harrison would be born at only 1 lb 8 oz.
As I think back on the emotional past 7 months, I’ve started to think about the day before that day. The day where everything was normal, where we were enjoying time vacationing with Josh’s family and taking in the beauty of Colorado. Except for the beginnings of a headache for me, it was a great, normal day. Josh, his brothers and his dad had gone out to play golf that afternoon but were driven inside by a sudden thunderstorm.
I had forgotten about that storm and really that whole normal “day before” until about a month ago. As I’ve revisited those days, I can’t help but be struck with what an interesting illustration that thunderstorm on July 28th was. Little did we know the storm that was coming our way the next day, and that that storm would continue in many ways through the next 3 months in the NICU. Those stormy days were scary. They were overwhelming at times. They were filled with the joy of holding our sweet child, but the heartbreak of leaving him at the hospital each night. Those days were not what we would’ve wished for, not how we wanted Harrison’s birth story to go. The storm came rolling in and we weren’t expecting it. But we were oh so thankful for our safe shelter.
One of the places in scripture I kept returning to during those Colorado days was Psalm 27. My friend Jeanette mailed me a devotional by Paul Tripp called “A Shelter in the Time of Storm” which walked through this Psalm. As literally everything around us seemed so scary and uncertain, what sweet promises these were to read. In verse 5 of the Psalm David writes, “For he will hide me in his shelter in the day of trouble; he will conceal me under the cover of his tent; he will lift me high upon a rock.” One thing that struck me is how “in the day of trouble” is a given. To be honest, I probably skim over that reality, hoping trouble won’t happen to me. It is not an option of whether or not we will face trouble. David did and we will too, and sometimes, it will hit us out of nowhere. But what a beautiful promise in the midst of that hard reality. When those days happen, he will be our shelter. When things around are scary and uncertain, we are invited to run to him for protection, life and his very presence. As Tripp writes, “You can be sure of this- your day of trouble will come. Yet, in your trouble God hasn’t’ left you alone. What is it that he gives you in your trouble? He gives you himself! He is what will keep you safe.”
It’s been 7 months since that crazy July day, but even this long after, it is still hard many days to trust these promises. Before this pregnancy we had a miscarriage, as many of you know. So to lose that child and have so many days fearing the lost of this child, it has been an emotional roller coaster. Many days I do trust the Lord; some days it seems hard to do so and fear takes over. Some days I can fully rejoice and be in the moment just enjoying Harrison. Some days I still look back with lots of mourning at the path God had us walk. But I am so comforted by the fact that whatever emotion the day holds, God hasn’t left me to walk through it alone. He is with me.
Thank you again for your prayers these past 7 months for our family. We have felt so loved, encouraged and lifted up by you. As for an update on Harrison, he is doing well! He weighs 11 lb 12 oz as of his last check up. His lungs are doing great, developmentally he is where he should be and doctors are giving him good reports! One thing we would love your prayers for is his little digestive track. He is meeting with a GI specialist and nutritionist to try to figure out why he isn’t tolerating the solids we’ve tried to feed him so far. They don’t seem overly concerned but we’d love to see this issue resolved soon so he can keep gaining weight well. Thanks again for your prayers MidSouth family!
